I had a long talk with my friends on Wednesday about relationships and our expectations of such, at such a delicate age. In short, I think we expect too much.
A lot of us are in serious relationships. Some of us are 20 years old, living with our significant others, sharing bills, food and everything else us college students typically hold sacred to us. If you’re one of these people, more power to you. But if you’re not, I’m telling you, don’t rush it.
We have all our lives to find a husband or wife. A lot of us were told we would “find” our life partners in college and, whether we know it or not, a lot of us have. But I strongly feel that the expectations we place on our relationships and our significant others are sometimes unrealistic.
For a 21-year-old guy to not party and have fun, regardless of how many females he has “fun” with, is absurd to me. We should all be doing the same thing – tactfully, of course. None of us should be “tied down” right now. If you are reading this, there’s a big chance you’re in your prime. These are the best – the absolute best – years of your life. They
really don’t get any better than this.
We hang out on weekdays, skit through classes (some of us), take over parties, create exclusive cliques and our own little worlds. If we have no money, we use our dining dollars to eat in the Punchout. If we don’t have dining dollars, we “bum” off someone else’s.
None of this will exist after Howard. Dining dollars when we’re hungry? The closest equivalent to that would be welfare. The life we live right now will be fantasy once we leave.
We can all learn from one another, have fun together and the like. But when it comes to actually settling down, honestly, if done in this particular setting, you may just find yourself settling. Chances are, one of you – if not both you and your partner – is not ready. Let’s not fool ourselves.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t date. We absolutely should! It’s how we learn about our likes and dislikes, what we’ll accept and what we simply won’t stand for. By playing the field and “accepting applications,” we are all able to construct a list of what we want in a life partner. That’s forever.
So, relax. Go with the flow. If your “boo” is texting someone else or acting up, let it slide. Where do you see yourself in five years? Ten? Is that person there? If not, there is truly no reason to get shaken up about anything. Right now, the only person who matters is you (and your family and biggest supporters, of course.) Focus on yourself and don’t look for that “special someone.” When it’s time, that person will find you. Believe it.
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