Perspective: Double Standard
Published: Thursday, October 15, 2009
Updated: Thursday, October 15, 2009 09:10
Males have very few things to be proud of; sharing it would no longer make it their own. Men were the breadwinners and women stayed home, domesticated. Along came World War II and women were working in factories, just as the men did. They became secretaries and phone operators; slowly the man wasn't the only one "bringing home the bacon." As time progressed women became lawyers, doctors, professors, etc.
At some point, women began doing ALL the things men did. Women started to date freely, as men did and thus, the double standard in dating…
Today, we as women often ask, "why is it that men can have sex with numerous women and it be ok?" If the inverse were to occur, the tables would definitely turn.
In a relationship that is not exclusive (like every Howard relationship), people are not afraid to cast judgment on both sexes. The guy who simultaneously dates several women is praised and thought of as "the man". He's simply doing his job; playing the game and gaining many lady friends out of it.
The same accolades are not reserved for women who have ties to a few different men. In fact, the response is the polar opposite. She can be called the most degrading names in the book, as she is being promiscuous and "easy." These accusations are certainly not uncommon, even in today's lax dating circles.
I've stumbled across a possible answer; men are insecure.
But, double standards are the result of way more than men just being insecure. So maybe the correct answer is that male insecurity plays an integral part in the double standards of relationships.
A man cannot handle the idea of someone else running in competition for what they believe to be theirs. So as a result, women cannot engage themselves with another male while she is involved in a courtship or relationship.
Aside from it being wrong, a male disagrees with it solely because he cannot fathom the playing field consisting of more than just him. They believe that if a woman is cheating or, simply has male friends that it's because HE'S lacking in some area and she's looking for someone to fill the void.
Men cannot handle being second, or being hurt. They think if a female is interested in another man, it's because he has something more to offer and in a man's world; you have to be on top of everything including your woman and your relationships.
It's okay for them to have as many female friends, cheat, etc because the competition for attention, affection and love does not directly affect how they feel about themselves.
Messing around with other women feed into the need for a man to feel as if he is needed...the more women who "need" him the more he is solidified as a man possessing the qualities that are "manly" and thusly proving himself to be the leader of the pack when it comes to female dependency. "Is he gay?" "Is he on the DL?" - the more female partners a man has the less likely these labels will be placed on him.
Can we make all men accept that women can "play the field" and play coach to a "team" just as they do? Can we change the mindset that so many men (and sadly even women) have been conditioned to believe?
No, but we can understand that times have progressed and women want just as much ego rubbing as their counterparts. Women look for options when they've encountered humdrum relationships. Face it men, you should never get too comfortable, because women "do it too".