He Said/She Said

HE SAID: If I were to suggest that men get the short end of the stick when it comes to relationships, what would you say? From the emotionally fueled Tweets to the disappointed and distressed Facebook status updates, an outsider would probably think that men are the perpetual enigma of womankind. Ironically, I'm almost positive there are some women who think just that. Admittedly, in some cases, this is rightfully so. This isn't meant to be another entry in the journal of "who is to blame." So, let's look at this from a different angle.

What if I were to tell you that men are, in fact, just like dogs? Your snap response would probably be "yeah, no kidding." This prompt was the topic of a short story that I wrote for my creative writing class. 

The response from the women in my class was just how I intended them to be, they were shocked. They were uneasy. But they were not in denial. No matter how they fought it, they could not avoid the simple truth I was presenting to them, that men are dogs and women have never been wrong calling us that. You all just don't know why it is that you're right. 

 When a dog wants to poop, you open the door and let it go out back. When a dog wants to play, you play with it a bit. You rub its belly and behind its ears, show it some love. The dog probably gives you a big, kool-aid smile complete with dripping tongue when you do it, right? When the dog's horny, and you try to stop it from humping your leg it keeps trying, right? So you just let it get it out of its system. 

Basically, you let the dog be a dog and accept it as such. And what do you get in return? That dog becomes your best friend, willing to scrap for you if you're in danger, sit with you when you're sad, cheer you up and lick all over you. It's so happy when you come home. And it's loyal! It won't leave you as long as you treat it right and let it do its thing. 

But the dog is an animal, and you have to let it be what it is. You can't control it and try to make it wear silly sweaters and hats, you have to let it be itself. You don't try to put a leash on it all the time and have it sit next to you. You let it run free and enjoy itself! You don't call the Dog Whisperer talking about "I don't understand my dog, it's acting weird, can you help me," because it isn't difficult to understand. And of course, what happens when you don't treat it right? It leaves. It runs away. See, women have been calling us dogs forever and you've never been wrong, you just don't know why you're right!

Men are simple creatures, we really are. Not single-cell organism simple, but less than women make us out to be. Think of us as dogs, by all means. The better you treat your dog, the more it wants to be around you. The more it loves you. The more your relationship grows. Don't think of us as creatures you need to control or discipline. All that gets you is where you've been: single and unhappy. 

You might proudly boast your status as #TeamSingle on Twitter, but when it's all said and done, we all want somebody to call our own. Bottom line is this, forget your love songs by various women who are either married and pregnant or have millions to blow and can be with a different guy everyday of the week if she wanted to. That's not your reality. You can't relate. 

Forget all the media garbage that makes you feel that your man is out to get you, and the breaking of your heart is his number one goal. Think, instead, about how you can make a relationship better, because believe it or not, it starts with you, the individual. What can you do differently? How can you make yourself better for your man? Focus on him. What does he like to do? Show interest. Let your guard down. Yes, I said it.

 If you don't, you're already in the game with a handicap. I'll leave you with this: there will always be one common factor in all of your relationships, and that's you. Stop looking to men as the source of all your unhappiness.

SHE SAID: All men are dogs. Let's face it, it's the truth. But before we apply this blanket statement to every man, it's important that we acknowledge the variations in pedigree. The pedigree is the dog's family tree. So, let's look deep before we leap. Every brother has a cover. They say that the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, that how a man treats his mother is how he will treat you. Do you know the pedigree of your man? Who is in his family genealogy?

Some dogs, like men, are purebred and you have a pretty good idea what genes he may have inherited and what he may grow up to be. Some dogs, like men, are mixed breeds. Not only do you not know exactly what you're getting, but you also don't know what he's going to grow up to be like. We need to use caution in stereotyping this man though because--with proper training and the right type of influence--he can turn out to be a healthy dog.

Some dogs are a man's best friend. They cuddle, love on you, can't wait to be with you and will protect you from hurt, harm or danger. Yeah, that's my man! He's my best friend! But, he can be a little too needy and may need to be caged at times just to give a woman her space.

All dogs, like men, need training. They need to be taught what to chew on, what not to, what is a toy and meant to be played with, where to dump and where not to dump and what will result in consequence. Some dogs can be trusted to roam freely without being on a leash while others, need to be chained and watched closely.

So yeah, I said it, all men are dogs. I love my dog like I love my man because I know my pedigree.