The first time Ethleen Sawyer’s friend chose to engage in sexual intercourse, the condom broke and his girlfriend got pregnant.
Sawyer, a sophomore English major, is now abstinent.
“[My friend’s] life was completely shifted,” Sawyer said. “I saw the effects first-hand in what premarital sex can do.”
Sawyer said although a condom should work 99 percent of the time, she did witness the effects of the other one percent, which can happen to anyone.
The Abstinence Awareness Week Youth Forum started with each of the seven panelists expressing why they choose to be abstinent.
According to the moderator and senior hospitality major Jasmine Jackson, 70 percent of black children are now born to single mothers.
“AIDS is real,” said Angela Walker, a senior finance major. “STDS are real, and having babies is real.”
The path of abstinence was not the first decision of panelist Angela Minto.
“I was trying to please someone who didn’t have my best interest at hand,” said Minto, a senior biology major.
She said she is not ashamed of her downfall because she can be the voice of what happens when you don’t choose to be abstinent.
“It is important because more and more young people are doing it today,” Minto said. “They preach more about condoms than abstinence and condoms.”
Although condoms may protect the physical, Minto questioned the affects sex has on the emotional, mental and spiritual aspects of life.
Nykee Hider chose to be abstinent from the words his mother instilled in him.
He said his mother would always tell him “don’t awaken love before it’s time.”
One thing that helped him in his persistence was making a list of all the qualities and characteristics he wanted in his future wife, he said.
“I made that list 15 years ago, and 35 days ago I married my wife who is everything on that list,” Hider said. “Be patient.”
The Youth Forum, “Marriage & Family Matter: Abstinence is a Core Strength of the Community,” was sponsored by National Council of Negro Women, Howard University’s Alpha Phi Omega Steppers for Christ, Ultra Teen Choice, Families First D.C., Wedding Bliss Inc. and Embracing-Singles Wholeness & Marriage Strengthening.
It is the second of the many events held this week for Abstinence Awareness Week.
The panelists were asked questions from the audience about abstinence in college and abstinence for non-religious people.
“Say you have a heart and each time you have sex someone takes a piece of your heart,” Jackson said. “As the cycle continues, what will you have to offer to your husband or wife that you haven’t given someone else?”
Hider said young people should look at the bigger picture and have a clear focus.
“During college, I was around the environment where people were having sex in staircases,” he said. “But I had a fear of God and dreams to live off of.”
Panelist Angela Walker said self-control is a big part of being abstinent.
“To build a trusting relationship, self-control is key,” Walker said. “You should be able to experience intimacy without having sex, or else, it is not really making love; it is making lust.”
Blake Poland, a panelist, said he surrounded himself with like-minded people, friends who were also abstinent.
Poland said sex may be great and wonderful, but when there are problems in relationships, sex can amplify them.
“Abstinence is a personal choice that every person will have to make at some point in their life,” said Milan, a senior psychology major. “Although there are many benefits to abstinence, I think it’s naive to believe that abstinence will solve all the problems pertaining to relationships.”
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